Orgeron is a Cajun? Oh Shit

Fuck ’em , fuck em all if they can’t take a joke. Mal made me issue this apology. Like everything else, I don’t really mean it.

Ed, I wasn’t talking about you my good friend.  Please don’t twist my titties

Barners, I know that you all have figured that advanced electronics stuff.

(1) The term is not derrogatory anyway
(2) The comment was recorded during an “off the record” meeting with the Alabama Media
(3) The comment was a story being repeated verbatim in original language in response to “how are LSU fans taking you being at Bama.”
(4) It will probably be a cold day in Satan-land before I throws you another bone. “I trusted you and you burned me.” When I will not give them (media) the time of day and the media wonders why, they need to look in the mirror. Typical Alabama media eating their own.

 

Keep on Taking Shots You Bunch of Coon Asses

Les Miles, are you behind this video? I look really good of course, but trust me, no hat or cap can contain my hair-do

 

Donna Shula? Kiss My Ass

Wow, I think that I am better described as as “misunderstood”. This is a lot of hating going on here. What kills me is that these fellas, while they have great hair for hall of fame guys, are really jealous of my do’.

Who in the blue hell do they think that they are, anyway? 72 Dolphins? Hall of Fame? That doesn’t mean shit in the shantytowns of Tuscaloosa. Dumb fucks, think they know anything about football? How to lead men in tough situations? Nope, I wrote the book on leadership!!!

Bama Muscle Hair—which means Nick Saban Hair is where it is. High School Ballers and Scounderels will join my flock!!! C’mon on down Willie Williams!!! C’mon Chris Rainey!!! Urban Meyer is my clumsy bitch. I might take Tebow away from him just to remind him who the boss is, hahahahahaahahahahahaha

“He’s a liar, quitter, coward, and fraud.” – Don Shula, defintely old school hair. One of Paul Mitchell’s early projects

“Coaches lie and leave all the time. Not in this arrogant or cowardly a fashion, granted…” – ESPN Writer Dan LeBatard

“…the sermonizing Saban climbed the football ladder by selling character, toughness, and overcoming. Want to test a man’s character? Give him adversity, or give him power. In the end, Saban couldn’t be trusted with either” – Dan LeBatard the Fat Bastard, pictured right

“The shadow fled, absconded, snuck out the back door. I’m thrilled the guy is gone. What he owed the community was to face it. If you are going to leave, own up. If you are going to preach manliness and coach a manly game in which you have blood all over your uniform, you should act like a man. That’s why everyone is calling him a soundrel and a sneak. Face your weakness.” – Nick Buoniconti

“The hypocrisy. It wasn’t just the one lie Saban told. It’s that all his bedrocks crumbled on him in the end. Integrity. Honor. Trust. Respect. Mental toughness. Accountability. He had his first losing season and promptly quit. Then, upon landing to a savior’s welcome in Alabama, his failures somehow became he fault of…basically everyone outside the confines of Saban’s mirror.” – Dan LeBatard

“Accountability? That’s just the ability to put $32 million in the bank.” – Dan LeBatard

“But it was Saban, the self-proclaimed hillbilly, who elevated himself to Coach Barefoot Bryant status with all his slick speechifying.” – Dan LeBatard

“The guy likes to hear himself talk and then doesn’t follow up on what he says.” – Don Shula

“We don’t have any of this stuff: ‘When it doesn’t work here, let me go someplace else.’ That’s not how it is. This is the real world. It’s business. You have a job. You have a responsibility.” – Nick Saban (on DT Manny Wright’s desire to be traded)

“The best way to disrespect someone is to just walk away from them.” – Nick Saban

 

Mack Brown? Eat it Pal

Lil Bammer, we got us some recruiting success, straight out of Texas.  This kid has better hair than John Parker Wilson.

WWMBD.  What Would Mack Brown Do?  A phrase that was shamelessly stolen by the EDSBS crew from another blog, and now I am stealing it for the CAPSTONE BABY!!!!!  Mack Brown, bend over bitch and take it from this vagabond former NFL  Coach.  Thats right!! N-F-L Mack.  Something you will never be is NFL like ol Nick

(Me, Mack and some chick.  I am the good looking fella with super hair!!!)

I got me a verbal committment Monday from a quarterback out of Texas.
Nick Fonzarelli told me that he is going to sign with the Flagship University of Alabama. Hey what about that, we have the same first names.  This kid has some serious hair issues.  He kinda reminds me of Ears Whitworth with the jug ears look. Unruly mop of hair.  You know, it does look like the kid tried to use some gel..

here take a peek:

here is how I tricked the kid.  I told him I was working for Mack Brown at Texas and Mack did not want him.  The kid took it hook line and sinker. here is the pic that iced the deal with Fonzie:

(Damn, i am a good looking man!!!!)

The 6’3″, 200 lbs. quarterback from San Antonio said, “the new coaching staff is great!”  Of course we are great Fonzie, Shula’s recruiting  efforts have been called “retarded” by EDSBS.  Fonzarelli is ranked number 31 on Scout.com’s position rankings.

I am recruiting this too;

 

I am a Dick, Do Not Doubt It

[This is all contigent on me not going to coach Dallas] 

I noticed that the EDSBS Boys have decided to post about me.  Well, they can kiss my un-botoxed ass.  Mike Shula did recruit like his name was Corky.  If he was smarter, i would not be here, I would be somewhere else.  Look EDSBS Gators, pendejo Urban Meyer can’t carry my jock.  He has been described as a poor man’s Nick Saban.  Not really a bad thing, just sorta like comparing Crack and Coke.

Lil Bammers read this and let’s see if you can get with MY program. You Bammers better Man Up, read this link  If you can’t handle this, then go buy some Barn Under Armour Gear and root for them cow farmers.  here is what those dope smoking Gators had to say about losing Prothro:

This would present few problems if Alabama fans didn’t hold such powerful feelings for Prothro, who became a veritable football martyr when his leg shattered during the Tide’s 31-3 victory over Florida in 2005. (Damn you, Demeco Ryans, you rabid tackling warthog of a man.) Saban could withdraw the scholarship; he could let Prothro sit and avoid the issue altogether. Saban has already allowed the 15 Shula commits stay; letting the medical redshirts inherited from his predecessor eats up two more precious roster slots.

 

Recruiting War? My Rich Ass…

Damn media, you can’t believe a word that comes out of their asses.  Here is some crazy ass story that I am stealing recruits  from Les Miles and LSU.  First off, Les Miles has butterflies floating around in his head.  That is why he wears those big hats.  Those trucker hats  double as a butterfly net.  No butterflies in his head, equals no brain activity.  Secondly, Lester owes me.  I built that LSU program.  They were not diddly squat as program, ever, until I showed up, worked my magic, then I left.  Chinese Bandits and Billy Cannon?  Try Nick Saban Bitches. Thirdly, if I want one of their recruits, I will just take them.  I  have vast economic resources of the Capstone at my disposal, I can get anything I want. Any how,  Here is the article:

Saban tried to get cornerback Phelon Jones of Mobile, Ala., and defensive end of West Monroe, to schedule a visit to Alabama’s campus. Both players declined, family members said. “He (Saban) was kind of mad that we turned down the visit and turned down the scholarship,” Davis told the Web site tigerbait.com. “He said that there is no way that the coaching staff at LSU can compare to the coaching staff we have at Alabama right now. He gave no credit to anyone.”

Be happy Les, that I don’t steal your damn hats.  I wouldn’t wear them anyway, they would mess up my hair.

 

Bammers, I will be in Montgomery FEB 1st

Bama Boosters:  Send me another little trailer park honey to “fix my bangs” when I get into Montgomery.

Damn, I am one handsome man.

I am the featured speaker on the opening night of the Alabama Football Coaches Association’s second annual convention at Embassy Suites on Feb. 1.

Sure that Barn DC Muttonchops or whatever is going to be there too, but we all can get up and walk out when he gets up to speak.  Its called “shunning”. HAHAHAHA, it will be hilarious!!! Oh, Jimbo Fisher, who Bear Jr blocked outta of the UAB Head Coach Job so that Jimbo could have been my OC will speak too.

Now Jimbo is big old pussy, and went on down to FSU.  He really thinks that he is going replace old Diddy down there.  Well, maybe he will or maybe he won’t replace Papa Bowden.  I might be ready to change jobs by then.  Timeline should work out in my favor.   Old Fisher will be my bitch again!!HAHAHAHA!!!

 

There’s Something About Cam Cameron

You are not in my league Cam. I have cultivated my look, this hair for years. I trained these bangs to fly. Think REO Speedwagon, Its Time for Me to Fly (More ways than one, hahahaha). CAM, I will take a dump in your lawn. You are #1 on my list tied with the 1972 Miami Dolphins Team.

I will not allow a Cam Hair pic on my site. He will always wear a hat here. I have standards on my site.

Cam Cameron, this is what I think of when I see you without a cap.  A wannabe that is trying keep up with me and falling short.  Here take a look, Cam ole buddy:

 

I will talk about the 72 Dolphins and Bitch Daddy Shula another day.

Link here

 

Saban-Ade

I miss Logan Young. He had a full head of hair. At his age that was great stuff. The best news is that Mal Moore is responsible for all of the loveable losers in the Tide’s coaching past.

Here is why I am better than any other Coach in Bama History. Yep, thats right I am better than Ears Whitworth and Bear Bryant. My ASSessment of previous coaches that are not in my stratosphere

Mike Shula – Mediocre hair at best, no shape or body. Anyone who wants to say he was treated poorly and should have had another year simply didn’t follow Alabama closely during his tenure here. He recruited fairly well. That was it. Record against Auburn, 0-4; LSU, 0-4; Tennessee, 1-3; Arkansas, 1-3. Those are the four biggest rivals and his record was 2-14 combined. 4-17 in the SEC against teams not named Kentucky, Vanderbilt, Miss State, Ole Miss. His teams got worse from the beginning to the end of every season. Not once did he have a team improve from the beginning of the year to the end. Did not show progress as a head coach. Made mistakes in year four that rookie coaches don’t make. Personnel decisions were terrible. A 10 win season in the middle of NCAA penalties is no reason to fail at the Capstone. (I will leave before things get really bad)

Mike Price – Bad Bad Hair. Sleeps with a stripper while on a trip representing the University of Alabama. Is terminated. Doesn’t coach a game. Bama had it’s hands tied here and couldn’t afford to keep this guy on. Regardless, his on-field performance clearly was not a factor, yet he gets included in the conversation as a coach we ran off. Give me a break.

Dennis Franchione – Cool and Conservative Coiff, think Silver ‘Fox’. I own a Fran Bobblehead. What is funny that the Bammers hate Fran for doing exactly what I did in Miami. Leaving of his own accord in the middle of the night. Was not run off. The fans here were crazy about the man while he was here and thought he was a very good coach.

Mike Dubose – See Mike Price, a bad combover. Horrible horrible stringy combover. Not even going to go into this one, if you think Alabama did the wrong thing in dismissing him you need your head examined. Again, if you want details, let me know. If you know football, you don’t need the details.

Gene Stallings – Gene has terrible hair but is man enough to accept it. During his 7 year tenure he won 70 games. Loved and revered by Alabama fans to this day. Obviously, I will replace him in Bammers hearts.

This timeline takes us back to the beginning of the 1990 season. Or at least admit that you just heard ESPN say it and assumed they knew what the hell they were talking about. Sorry for the rant but this bad hair just chaps my ass and generally people speak out of line and without having a clue when it comes down to it.

Bottom line: The expectations at Alabama are no different than the expectations at Florida or Florida State or Notre Dame or Ohio State or Oklahoma or any other big time football program. They simply aren’t. We’ve had a difficult past 10 years or so and somewhere along the lines the fans got blamed for expecting too much and it’s an absolute joke.

 

How I got to Tuscaloosa

 Mal Moore slipped me some GHB.   I fought Mal for a little while but I quit cause quitting is what I do good.  Its OK though.  Really it is.  I was a failure in Miami anyway and I don’t mind getting  used.

This GHB stuff should work really well on recruits.  I know that they will not trust me so I gotta make them trust me!!!  And I need recruits now.  BCS or bust bitches!!

 

Description: A clear liquid. Looks just like water. Can be mistaken for water because it is usually found in a small (30ml) clear plastic bottle, a water bottle, or even Gatorade bottles, which contains several doses. One quick taste, and you’ll know it’s not water. Not as common, but also found as a white powder. Infact powder use is on the rise!

Effects: Intoxication, increased energy, happiness, talking, desire to socialize, feeling affectionate and playful, mild disinhibition, sensuality, enhanced sexual experience, muscle relaxation, loss of coordination due to loss of muscle tone, possible nausea, difficulty concentrating, loss of gag reflex.

Many people have bad reactions. These can include nausea, headaches, drowsiness, dizziness, amnesia, vomiting, loss of muscle control, respiratory problems, loss of consciousness, being conscious but unable to move, and death- Especially when combined with alcohol or other drugs.