Geaux Saban

Les Miles is a bit slow on the mental side.  Everyone knows that, except him, that he is only successful cause I left him a shit-load of talent.  Why do you think that Jimbo Fisher left that sinking ship?

Right now, I am setting up my replacement here at Bama just like I did  Les.  I hope that the next guy is smarter than Les

Below, JaMarcus Russell used to leave a helmet out in my honor.  I might trade for JaMarcus when I get to Dallas.  They will do this for me when I leave Alabama later next month.

 

My Suitcase

A lot of you are asking about the suitcase in my title. here is a picure of it. It still has LSU colors on it.

Oh BTW, Go Cowboys.  I can live with T.O.

 

I Won’t be the Head Coach of the Dallas Cowboys

It is not a rumor, the Cowboys called me today. Can you believe it? Somebody pinch me, Jerry Jones wants me to come to Dallas for an interview. I got some serious thinking to do. Is the Alabama Program better off since I arrived? You bet it is. You Bammers know that it is. I have put Bama back on top!!! Alabama was nothing before I arrived. Nothing. Just like LSU, nothing until I Sabanized them.

The Cowboys are a Super Bowl Team in the waiting. I like to think of it as a reverse Les Miles/LSU scenario. Miles is winning with my players at LSU. I will win with Parcells players (if I go, of course, which I might)

Don’t be sad lil Bammer, you know that if I don’t leave for the Cowboys, it will be someone else later. Better for us not to really get used to each other anyway.

Where are my household goods? Can I switch destinations if Jerry wants me?

Does anyone know if Jerry had plastic surgery or botox? I might send Terry to his doctor for whatever he got.

 

Recruiting War? My Rich Ass…

Damn media, you can’t believe a word that comes out of their asses.  Here is some crazy ass story that I am stealing recruits  from Les Miles and LSU.  First off, Les Miles has butterflies floating around in his head.  That is why he wears those big hats.  Those trucker hats  double as a butterfly net.  No butterflies in his head, equals no brain activity.  Secondly, Lester owes me.  I built that LSU program.  They were not diddly squat as program, ever, until I showed up, worked my magic, then I left.  Chinese Bandits and Billy Cannon?  Try Nick Saban Bitches. Thirdly, if I want one of their recruits, I will just take them.  I  have vast economic resources of the Capstone at my disposal, I can get anything I want. Any how,  Here is the article:

Saban tried to get cornerback Phelon Jones of Mobile, Ala., and defensive end of West Monroe, to schedule a visit to Alabama’s campus. Both players declined, family members said. “He (Saban) was kind of mad that we turned down the visit and turned down the scholarship,” Davis told the Web site tigerbait.com. “He said that there is no way that the coaching staff at LSU can compare to the coaching staff we have at Alabama right now. He gave no credit to anyone.”

Be happy Les, that I don’t steal your damn hats.  I wouldn’t wear them anyway, they would mess up my hair.

 

Bammers, I will be in Montgomery FEB 1st

Bama Boosters:  Send me another little trailer park honey to “fix my bangs” when I get into Montgomery.

Damn, I am one handsome man.

I am the featured speaker on the opening night of the Alabama Football Coaches Association’s second annual convention at Embassy Suites on Feb. 1.

Sure that Barn DC Muttonchops or whatever is going to be there too, but we all can get up and walk out when he gets up to speak.  Its called “shunning”. HAHAHAHA, it will be hilarious!!! Oh, Jimbo Fisher, who Bear Jr blocked outta of the UAB Head Coach Job so that Jimbo could have been my OC will speak too.

Now Jimbo is big old pussy, and went on down to FSU.  He really thinks that he is going replace old Diddy down there.  Well, maybe he will or maybe he won’t replace Papa Bowden.  I might be ready to change jobs by then.  Timeline should work out in my favor.   Old Fisher will be my bitch again!!HAHAHAHA!!!

 

Bama Fans

Do not leave negative comments about me on this site.  I am trying to recruit Blue Chippers to our Flagship University.  I need positive comments and vibes.  Recruits read this site each day. So get with the program Bammers.

If you can’t do what I ask, then I will leave Tuscaloosa so fast that you will think that Coach Fran’s  departure was like a turtle a warp speed.

 

There’s Something About Cam Cameron

You are not in my league Cam. I have cultivated my look, this hair for years. I trained these bangs to fly. Think REO Speedwagon, Its Time for Me to Fly (More ways than one, hahahaha). CAM, I will take a dump in your lawn. You are #1 on my list tied with the 1972 Miami Dolphins Team.

I will not allow a Cam Hair pic on my site. He will always wear a hat here. I have standards on my site.

Cam Cameron, this is what I think of when I see you without a cap.  A wannabe that is trying keep up with me and falling short.  Here take a look, Cam ole buddy:

 

I will talk about the 72 Dolphins and Bitch Daddy Shula another day.

Link here

 

Saban-Ade

I miss Logan Young. He had a full head of hair. At his age that was great stuff. The best news is that Mal Moore is responsible for all of the loveable losers in the Tide’s coaching past.

Here is why I am better than any other Coach in Bama History. Yep, thats right I am better than Ears Whitworth and Bear Bryant. My ASSessment of previous coaches that are not in my stratosphere

Mike Shula – Mediocre hair at best, no shape or body. Anyone who wants to say he was treated poorly and should have had another year simply didn’t follow Alabama closely during his tenure here. He recruited fairly well. That was it. Record against Auburn, 0-4; LSU, 0-4; Tennessee, 1-3; Arkansas, 1-3. Those are the four biggest rivals and his record was 2-14 combined. 4-17 in the SEC against teams not named Kentucky, Vanderbilt, Miss State, Ole Miss. His teams got worse from the beginning to the end of every season. Not once did he have a team improve from the beginning of the year to the end. Did not show progress as a head coach. Made mistakes in year four that rookie coaches don’t make. Personnel decisions were terrible. A 10 win season in the middle of NCAA penalties is no reason to fail at the Capstone. (I will leave before things get really bad)

Mike Price – Bad Bad Hair. Sleeps with a stripper while on a trip representing the University of Alabama. Is terminated. Doesn’t coach a game. Bama had it’s hands tied here and couldn’t afford to keep this guy on. Regardless, his on-field performance clearly was not a factor, yet he gets included in the conversation as a coach we ran off. Give me a break.

Dennis Franchione – Cool and Conservative Coiff, think Silver ‘Fox’. I own a Fran Bobblehead. What is funny that the Bammers hate Fran for doing exactly what I did in Miami. Leaving of his own accord in the middle of the night. Was not run off. The fans here were crazy about the man while he was here and thought he was a very good coach.

Mike Dubose – See Mike Price, a bad combover. Horrible horrible stringy combover. Not even going to go into this one, if you think Alabama did the wrong thing in dismissing him you need your head examined. Again, if you want details, let me know. If you know football, you don’t need the details.

Gene Stallings – Gene has terrible hair but is man enough to accept it. During his 7 year tenure he won 70 games. Loved and revered by Alabama fans to this day. Obviously, I will replace him in Bammers hearts.

This timeline takes us back to the beginning of the 1990 season. Or at least admit that you just heard ESPN say it and assumed they knew what the hell they were talking about. Sorry for the rant but this bad hair just chaps my ass and generally people speak out of line and without having a clue when it comes down to it.

Bottom line: The expectations at Alabama are no different than the expectations at Florida or Florida State or Notre Dame or Ohio State or Oklahoma or any other big time football program. They simply aren’t. We’ve had a difficult past 10 years or so and somewhere along the lines the fans got blamed for expecting too much and it’s an absolute joke.

 

Finebaum Comments

I am hilarious!!!HAHAHAHAH

I just want to get my thoughts on Barn (click clack), LSU Les Miles the Rainman, and Mississippi State out there. 

more to follow…..Oh, if you ain’t a Bammer, you can Kiss My Ass! RTR 

By Steve Reeves
Assistant City Editor, Birmingham News
January 19, 2007 3:30AM

TUSCALOOSA | Alabama head football coach Nick Saban continues his whirl-wind
courtship with the Crimson Tide faithful in person and on the air waves.

State-wide stable, Paul Finebaum ended his 13-year affiliation with WERC-AM this week with a three-hour call in show with Saban. Finebaum has agreed to a three-year contract with Citadel Broadcasting, which owns WJOX.

Finebaum’s last show on WERC, Saban presented a confident, personable style, punctuated with good-natured barbs at Auburn, Mississippi State, and saving his strongest lines for his former employer, LSU.

Finebaum’s show airs from 2-6 p.m. Monday through Friday and is also carried on about 20 other stations, mostly in Alabama, under the banner of the Paul Finebaum Radio Network.

Finebaum’s show was previously heard in Tuscaloosa on WTBC 1230AM, where it will still be aired. Officials with WTBC did not return a phone call Friday.

“I’m sure the SEC hasn’t changed much over the past two seasons. I mean Mississippi State is still funding scholarships by collecting pop bottles and aluminum cans along the highways,” said Saban, half jokingly Friday afternoon. “Auburn, our motto –‘Where most coaches are fired’ — is still
in effect.”

“LSU was nothing before I arrived. Academically, athletically, physical plant, nothing. I made LSU. I was LSU. Their current success is solely due to my recruits. Coach Miles, while a fine man, does not fill my shoes, fit my desk, or cast a taller shadow. Our coaching staff is superior to anything in Baton Rouge. We will go into Louisiana an take each and every player we want. LSU will not, nor can not stop me. Mark my words.”

Finebaum point blank asked Saban if those comments mean LSU is a bigger foe than Auburn, a team that has dominated the Crimson Tide in recent years.

“No. Auburn is in-state. They are consistently the best team in the West,which speaks to the talent in Alabama. As talent I recruited graduates from LSU, after this season, they will return to the loweer depths of this league.”

When pressed about his initial comments about LSU “being special”, Saban rejoined, “It was special. I won a title there. But LSU fans focus is on the pre-game party aspect. Winning the party is paramount there. Seven-win football and winning baseball will keep them happy.”

Currently there is a controversy regarding Saban’s comments about the staff at LSU to previously committed Tiger recruits. In visiting Curtis star Joe McKnight, Nick Saban has created a stir while visiting LSU commitments Phelon Jones, a cornerback from McGill-Toolen High in Mobile, Ala., and Luther Davis, a defensive end from West Monroe.

According to both prospects, Saban took credit for LSU’s recent success as he signed most of the players involved in the Tigers’ 22-4 run since he left.

Neither player agreed to take a visit to Alabama, though, and refused to de-commit from LSU.

“Great guy, but he is a little bit overconfident,” Jones’ father Tony is quoted as saying at Tigerbait.com.

Saban also got a no from Davis in West Monroe.

“He (Saban) was kind of mad that we turned down the visit and turned down the scholarship,” Davis told Tigerbait.com. “He said that there is no way that the coaching staff at LSU can compare to the coaching staff we have at Alabama right now. He gave no credit to anyone.”

“I don’t think the LSU coaches are upset with Saban,” according to Mike Scarborough of Tigerbait.com. “It probably just makes them very motivated to out-recruit him. I think they also think it’s unbelievable some of the things he is saying about LSU.”

Associated Press reports were used in this report

 

How I got to Tuscaloosa

 Mal Moore slipped me some GHB.   I fought Mal for a little while but I quit cause quitting is what I do good.  Its OK though.  Really it is.  I was a failure in Miami anyway and I don’t mind getting  used.

This GHB stuff should work really well on recruits.  I know that they will not trust me so I gotta make them trust me!!!  And I need recruits now.  BCS or bust bitches!!

 

Description: A clear liquid. Looks just like water. Can be mistaken for water because it is usually found in a small (30ml) clear plastic bottle, a water bottle, or even Gatorade bottles, which contains several doses. One quick taste, and you’ll know it’s not water. Not as common, but also found as a white powder. Infact powder use is on the rise!

Effects: Intoxication, increased energy, happiness, talking, desire to socialize, feeling affectionate and playful, mild disinhibition, sensuality, enhanced sexual experience, muscle relaxation, loss of coordination due to loss of muscle tone, possible nausea, difficulty concentrating, loss of gag reflex.

Many people have bad reactions. These can include nausea, headaches, drowsiness, dizziness, amnesia, vomiting, loss of muscle control, respiratory problems, loss of consciousness, being conscious but unable to move, and death- Especially when combined with alcohol or other drugs.